First of all, it’s not what you think. I’m not suing anybody.

Second of all…you gotta understand…this household is big on coffee. No one really functions without it. Addiction? Most definitely.
And we’ve got our schedule all worked out. Dad leaves the keurig machine on the night before (I agree, these machines are insanely wasteful, and I feel guilty every time I use it) so he doesn’t have to wait for it to “start up” in the morning when he’s running out the door at 5am to make it to his carpool on time. And he leaves the coffee machine on for me.
Then I wake up to make Jeff’s coffee before he has to go to work, then I make my coffee and go to the room to catch up on emails, facebook, twitter, and any other social network that exists, and then mom makes her coffee a little later. We’re all pretty good about leaving things set and ready for the next person (this includes leaving the machine on, and refilling water if it’s running low).
We switched keurig machines over the weekend, though…and Monday we all felt the effects.
I woke up earlier than usual because I had to observe an asylum merits hearing in downtown LA at 8:30 a.m., so I was a little sad when I got to the kitchen and saw that the coffee machine was off. I had to wait a whole TWO MINUTES for it to warm up before I could brew my cup of coffee and inject my body with some caffeine (is it my fault or our society that I’m used to instant gratification and can’t wait two minutes for something? I’m disappointed in myself about this).
I thought it was weird that Dad didn’t leave the coffee machine on….so later that evening I told Jeff that I had to file a formal complaint with Dad. I went in to the garage (the man cave) to file my complaint, only to find out that Dad had to file a similar complaint with Mom for turning it off the night before…only to find out that Jeff had to file a similar complaint with me for not leaving it on after I left…only to find out that Mom had to file a complaint with Jeff for not leaving it on.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a gloriously overlooked feature of our new keurig machine: auto shut off.
All complaints have been revoked.
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