Lately I’ve been growing more and more frustrated with my J.D. Yep. That piece of paper that I have in a cheap frame under a pile of crap under my desk, at home. That paper that put me in the whole for about $160,000 and will probably reach $200,000 with interest before I’m even able to start making serious payments on it.
It’s not just the degree that frustrates me. I’m mostly frustrated at myself for getting it in the first place. I’m definitely one of those people that’s talked about in legal blogs a lot recently: that naive college graduate who thinks law school is a great idea and signs up without ever researching whether it really IS a good idea. I did absolutely NO research on how much my degree would cost, or how much I would be in debt by the time I graduated, or job prospects (although even diligent research could not have foretold the economic downturn that took over after I started law school). I kick myself in the butt for not doing this. I should’ve known what I was getting myself into. I should’ve really thought about whether a JD was really the best course to pursue for what I wanted to do with my life. I should’ve really thought about what I wanted to do with my life.
Instead I just dove in. And now I feel like I need to put this paper to use in some way just so I can pay it off, even though I have close to no interest in pursuing a career in a typical legal career. I feel like I’m trapped in a room, this JD and I, and all I can do is stare at it with fiery burning eyes. I can’t make it disappear, I can’t get rid of it. And it’s keeping me from doing other things I feel I would really enjoy, and therein lies my greatest disappointment. Because it’s no one’s fault but my own (oh and the institution/business of legal education which can get away with charging what they charge).
I think both Jeff and I are getting frustrated with my frustration. I know I need to snap out of it and just be more appreciative of the things I do have going on. It’s just so haaaaaaaard to snap out of it! I’ve definitely been acting like a whiny 5-year old. Maybe I need to start reading self-help books…
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